How To Destroy Fear and Escape Your Lack Mindset:

Perhaps you’ve lost weight, yet you notice the fear that you’ll gain the weight back or fail once again, creeping in. If you’re going to thrive as a lighter and healthier you, this workshop will help you push through your lack and fear and have you practice powerful thought work to re-create an abundant and courageous life.

Session #1:

Courageously Looking at Lack

Notes

Notes for Session #1

Is it Abundance or Lack behind your thoughts?

Are you running your life from stress and fear? Allowing the “I am not enough,” “I am broken,” and “there is not enough for me” to run your actions? Thinking the worst is going to happen and preparing for it?

Consider how different life will be when you purposely choose thoughts of abundance. You choose more positive thoughts, beliefs, actions, and habits when you know you are worthy, good enough, or perfectly imperfect.

Lack Thoughts:	Abundance Thoughts:
I have to have it	There will be plenty of opportunities to eat this again
Things have to be perfect.	I am awesome and successful right now, even as I am reaching for higher goals.
Developed from fear.	Developed from love.
I am never going to get this.	This is new for me and I am bound to make mistakes on my journey to deep learning and changes. The errors are a gift. They let me know where to focus my energy.
I need to eat it all now, everything on my plate	I can always have it again when I am hungry.
I paid good money for this, I must eat every last bite	I ate exactly the amount I needed to feel no longer hungry. I love that feeling of neutrality in my stomach.
It’s necessary to finish this piece and have more. It’s all you can eat.	This meal was a delicious experience and I WANT to stop. I enjoyed the meal and equally enjoy feeling light at the end of my meals.
I can’t lose weight. I can’t change.	Changing my habits will lead me to lose weight. I am excited about choosing healthier ways of being.
I am not good at working out.	Moving my body is fun.
I am a victim of circumstances.	I am my own superhero, powerful beyond measure in my own life.

To lead with an abundance mindset, shift your frame of thinking by asking these questions:

What are my challenges with food teaching me?
What can I learn from this situation? How can I improve
What new skills do I need? How can I build them?,

Action Plan

Action Steps for Session 1:

NOVICE LEVEL – Finish the Weeding Out Your “Lack Mindset” worksheet. Decide on one action or thought you are willing to practice this week to build this abundant thinking skill. Commit to it at least 3 times a week.

INTERMEDIATE LEVEL– Do the novice level assignment from above and practice at least 5 times this week.

ADVANCED LEVEL – Do the assignments above and dedicate yourself to moving toward Abundant thoughts by completing your practice daily.

Report to your accountability group or on our private Facebook Monday/Friday Check-In post to let everyone know what you are working on and how you did. If you aren’t on Facebook or Marco Polo, email Kate.

Session #2:

Fear

Notes

Notes for Session #2

Fear is a powerful, deeply wired reaction that is designed to keep you safe from perceived threats. If you are in a dangerous situation where your life is on the line, fear would cause the ‘fight or flight’ response — fight the threat or run away from it in order to stay safe.

Fear is what has protected the human race from predators and other threats to ensure the survival of the species. But these days, the kind of fear humans feel is emotional. And most of the time, the go to choice is the ‘flight’ response, when emotions arise.

Excuses are often disguises for fear.

People make excuses or think of reasons why they can’t do something. But in reality, it’s just fear and it gets in the way of things they’d love to do or achieve.

Maybe you know you do this too? Instead of admitting you’re scared about doing the things you want to do, you come up with ‘practical’ reasons why you can’t. But they are just justifications for not following through on your desires.

A big fear that can keep you from playing full out in your life is the fear of being judged.

One of the deepest human needs is to be loved and accepted, which is why people are so afraid for others to see who they really are.

Who is your harshest critic? Most likely it is YOU! It’s easy to assume that the faults you see in yourselves will be seen and judged by others. If you don’t like your faults you may create the false belief that it will be impossible for others to see past them too.

But the truth is, if you are vulnerable, many people will care for you, despite your failings

Fear of judgement is why a lot of people are too afraid to be seen for who they really are and where they’re really at. It explains why people like to hide from photos, from going to the beach, from going to parties, from wearing the clothes they’d really like to wear, and doing the things they’d really love to do.

Fear of judgment can keep you from losing weight – because you are playing smaller than what you are able to do.

Other fears that can get in the way of weight loss are –

Having to do things out of your comfort zone
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Looking silly or stupid
Worrying about how your relationship will change
Worrying about how your friendships will be affected
Believing you have to totally give up things that you like, such as drinking or eating certain foods
Fear you many discover that you’re not good enough
Not being able to control everything
Having to talk about your emotions
Feeling like you’re a ‘fraud’
Fear of eating too much food
Fear that you’ll gain your weight back
Fear of not being able to lose weight.

Often the two things that people are most afraid of are responsibility and accountability, the keys to long-term weight loss success.

Responsibility means accepting that you are responsible for your current situation and only you can solve it.

Taking responsibility releases any blame on your spouses, abuser, family members, people you work with, circumstances, etc.

Taking responsibility means you know you are in charge of your actions and how they are impacting your life. AND it also means lovingly giving yourself a chance to address what is at the core of your weight.

Blaming other people or situations, only gives your power away and doesn’t change anything; your weight stays the same.

Accountability means being willing to be seen for who and where you really are, not where you pretend to be.

Shine a spotlight on your life and actions instead of running away.

Do things for yourself, instead of always pleasing others. If you spend your time and energy doing things for everyone else instead of doing the things that you need to do to reach your goals, you will not transform your body or your lifestyle.

Fear of being seen will prevent you from networking with other people, putting yourself out there and promoting yourself.

Fear impacts your relationships. If you’re always trying to please other people, you’ll never have an authentic relationship that benefits you. You’ll feel drained, manipulated and won’t have a circle of people that you can rely on

What it takes to overcome your fears

Recognize your fears and how you might be giving in to them.

Expand your comfort zone. To get what you want involves feeling uncomfortable at times. But this will only be short-term. If you can be brave and face your fears, freedom and joy will be on the other side.

Deal with over-desire and the inner two year old that wants everything to stay the same because it thinks it’s safer.

Action Plan

Action Steps for Session 2:

NOVICE LEVEL – Recognize where fear is hanging out in your life.

Is there something you want to do but are not acting on?
Are you not expressing your opinion on a restaurant or not making food that works well in your body because of others’ judgments?
Are you making excuses instead of taking responsibility?
- “I’m just big boned”
- “It’s my thyroid”
- “I have to eat because everyone expects me to”

INTERMEDIATE LEVEL– Do the novice level assignment from above and own where you want to stay in your comfort zone. Find something little you can do to push yourself out of a comfort zone with food 2-3 times this week.

Throw away food when you are no longer hungry instead of being a garbage can.
Let everyone else eat and be OK with not eating when you aren’t hungry
Sit with the discomfort of not eating in front of the TV.
Eat healthy food you have never tried before.

Be accountable with a plan. Celebrate your successes and be curious about your failures instead of judgmental.

ADVANCED LEVEL – Do the assignments above and go out of your comfort zone in an additional way that is outside of food and try something you secretly want to do.

Attend an exercise class you’ve been nervously excited to do
Go somewhere you’d like to go without needing anyone else to go with you.
Wear make-up
Buy some new clothes
Wear a skirt
Wear a shorter skirt
Show your curves
Sign up for a dancing class or an art class or a coding class.

Report to your accountability group or our private Facebook Monday/Friday Check-In post to let everyone know what you are working on and how you did. If you aren’t on Facebook or Marco Polo, email Kate.

Session #3:

Dealing with Compliments Courageously

Notes

Notes for Session #3

How do compliments make you feel? And how do you react to compliments?

Are you able to receive the words as the gift they are intended to be? Or do you have an adverse reaction as if you are allergic to praise?

Do you deflect the comment? Do you want to run and hide? Do you question or correct the person giving you a compliment? Do you begin to self-sabotage immediately by running to food? There are so many possible reactions to a compliment.

Compliments can make you feel especially vulnerable if you don’t want people to notice you.

The brain is always looking to protect us. It runs on a negative bias. What’s wrong now? It can see negativity even in compliments. I want you to become aware of your reactions when someone says something nice to you.

“My brain is telling me that I don’t deserve this compliment, but maybe it’s wrong. Just maybe the person noticing something nice about me is telling the truth. Hmmm…it’s possible, so I am just going to say Thank You.”

Your ability to take compliments reflects the undercurrent of your thoughts about yourself.

So pay attention. You can use compliments as a barometer of your inner world. When you can hear and accept a compliment, you are showing a high level of self-esteem, self-confidence, and body-esteem.

A confident, smiling person can absorb the admiration of others.
A person with low confidence shuts down and is uncomfortable with praise.

The great thing is that all can change with practice. By practicing accepting others’ accolades, you can build your confidence like a muscle.

Hear, feel and accept compliments. It’s a gift from the other person. People love to have their presents received with joy.

To build your compliment-accepting muscle

Be grateful daily.
- This will take you out of fear mode.
- Expressing gratitude for your body, beauty, and great characteristics will help you take in when others pat you on the back for the same aspects of yourself.
Fake it until you make it
- Notice your nervous system after someone says something nice about you. Notice your feet on the ground. Slow your breathing.
- Just say “Thank you.” That’s all you need to do to accept someone’s kindness. Maybe add a smile.
- Get it the habit of saying “Thank you.” and/or “I appreciate that.”
Give compliments
- You will realize you are truly giving the other person the gift of being seen and appreciated. So you will be able to take the gift more easily.
- The more you give the gift of accolades, the more you will see how it feels to get different responses to your words.
In your own head
- Work on being able to give yourself the same compliment
- “I am in the process of seeing that in myself.”

How do you want to spend your life? Hiding? Running from the presents others give you with compliments?

Or do you want to show up, be seen, and live into the beauty that you already are? Practice standing in the spotlight of others’ good opinions of you.

Action Plan

Action Steps for Session 3:

NOVICE LEVEL –

NOVICE LEVEL – Notice how you respond verbally and in your nervous system when people compliment you in some way. Practice gratitude throughout the day.

INTERMEDIATE LEVEL- Do the assignment above and practice simply saying “Thank you.” And give at least one compliment to someone else each day.

ADVANCED LEVEL – Do the tasks above and consciously compliment yourself during the day. Also, say three compliments to yourself every night before you fall asleep.

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